Teaching has become as natural as swimming
for me. Now I have to explain that I swim seasonally, with great anticipation,
and with some anxiety. I have to convince myself that my appearance is
acceptable and get over the "what will people think" syndrome. Once
that is under control I just jump right in and glide through the water, knowing
that I was meant to be there and pulling in all the sensory information I can.
Teaching is exactly like that. I love diving into the depths of what I teach,
but more satisfying is watching the faces of my students, looking for signs of
curiosity, engagement, and delight. From thrashing
through waves of "what should they know" has come the stillness of
"what will they be".
My own children have been the tadpoles for developing my teaching style. Oh, I went to college and learned the theory
but that did not make me a good teacher. Sitting tall on my own piano bench
with The Fidgeter, The Swooner, and The Sponge, was the real forge of my teaching
ability. The Fidgeter went on to dance lessons, the Swooner to the I-Pod, and
The Sponge learned all I had to offer and culled knowledge from several other competent
teachers.
Can a parent be a good piano teacher? Well, I thought the word parent
and teacher were synonyms. If you have children, you must teach. But often a
parent and child collide with differing agendas. Here is what I learned from
teaching my own.
From The Sponge I learned to be
consistent, to listen to his heart, and to make him learn his notes. Being
consistent was a difficult challenge. Habits were hard to make in my day to day
living. In other words, I rarely did the same things day after day. My first
hurdle was finding a regular time for him to practice. I saw the power of holding
time aside for piano every day. In that hour of the day nothing else was as
important. The second hurdle was teaching him on a consistent day and treating
him as a paid piano student with a scheduled lesson time. This young boy, The
Sponge, was very quiet and mostly compliant. That sounds ideal, doesn't it?
Actually, because he was not as vocal as my other children I found I had to pay
more attention to his non-verbal signals. Learning to see into his heart became
possible as I asked more open-ended questions and listened patiently. He had a
very willing ear and wonderful short-term memory. Reading notes was too tedious
so he memorized everything which served him well until he wanted to learn
Beethoven. By this time we hired a piano teacher who gave him an ultimatum;
learn to read notes or don't come back. I felt I had failed him. He told me he
was quitting on the ride home in the car. She had wounded his pride and I felt
remorse for not being more dogmatic about drilling with those flash cards. The
harshness of her tactics did the trick. He proceeded to practice note-reading
via computer with a vengeance. After two weeks his musical life took a new
path. The code was broken and so he started sight-reading everything in his
grasp. When he quickly proved that he did not need reminding to play, I faced
the challenge of biting my tongue and not telling him to stop practicing. There
came the point when silence was more than golden; after hours
of teaching it was essential. We cleaned out a shed for The Sponge and put in a second piano. He became a wonderful pianist and a willing father as well.
Now on Mondays I pack up my I-Pad, my
stickers, some small candies for bribes, and colored pencils and go off to
teach my grandchildren.
I have three students in one family. It takes about
three hours because they like me to stay for lunch. I am applying the same
lessons I learned with my own child. Teach them on the same consistent day,
listen to their different needs, and drill those notes. I am more of a novelty
as a grandmother because I don't hound them all day long but it would be easy
to get relaxed about the routine. I find that I must be stern about following
through with practice goals and I challenge myself to do the unexpected to keep
them interested. A puppet comes to visit now and then makes lessons playful and
full of promise. I see good follow-through on their parent’s part and I know
piano lessons are valued in their home. In the future I'm sure I won't be
saying,"Gee, I wish I had not spent so much time teaching my own".
Jumping right in and gliding through the challenges of being a mother and a
teacher has made me a better instructor.
I do care about what all my students should know, but I have a lot invested
into what my children and grandchildren should be. I hope music is a pathway to
expression for them and I hope music teaches them to have eyes to see, ears to
hear, and hearts that are open to beauty.
